Leave Your Ego at the Door
Anybody who has practiced Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for any length of time has heard this statement before. The idea behind the statement is that there are going to be many times during the course of one's jiu jitsu journey where you will be the nail to someone else's proverbial hammer. In order to progress in the art, you have to learn to deal with loss. Upper belts tend to think that they've mastered their egos and that the saying, which is the subject of many a jiu jitsu meme, is something that only applies to lower ranks and newbies. I can only speak for myself on this subject, but I also find it difficult to leave my ego at the door, despite the fact that doing so would make rolling (which is sparring for those not familiar with the art) a lot more enjoyable for me. It would free my mind and allow me to experiment more during rolls without worrying about getting trapped in a bad position and possibly forced to tap out. As a 49 yr old, rapidly aging practitioner who holds a brown belt, I seem to believe that I'm not allowed to lose to anyone who is lower-ranked than me (with one or two notable exceptions). Specifically worrisome for me is the idea that a blue belt or even advanced white belt might tap me out during a roll. I don't even want to think of the pressure I would put on myself if I was a black belt.
Unfortunately for me, my academy has plenty of bigger, stronger, faster, younger, and more athletic guys than me who also learn at a much faster rate. Right now I can hold my own against anyone in the class with the exception of my instructor, who can tap me with ease. But I am fully aware that my days are numbered. It won't be long before these guys start tapping me, possibly with regularity, even though some of them are blue belts or soon-to-be purple belts. Rationally, I am aware that I'm going to have to come to terms with the likelihood of getting tapped out by these guys, but emotionally I find it very difficult to do so. I would love to know how other jiu jitsu practitioners, particularly older ones, handle this issue.
Of course, I already know how I will react when I do eventually get tapped by one of these guys. I will tip my proverbial cap, compliment him on his skill, slap hands, and keep rolling. But that won't make it any easier.
Of course, I already know how I will react when I do eventually get tapped by one of these guys. I will tip my proverbial cap, compliment him on his skill, slap hands, and keep rolling. But that won't make it any easier.
Ah, ego. I suggest this alternative view: If you have helped train someone who eventually becomes so skilled that they can tap you out, perhaps you can let your teaching self commandeer the ego. In that view, you can derive satisfaction from your defeat.
ReplyDeleteI know you asked for other BJJ practitioners to comment (clearly I'm not, though I've learned the names of a lot holds since I met you), and I'm eager to see what advice they offer.
So far, you're the only one who commented on this post! That is an interesting perspective and I've heard a lot of black belt instructors say that their goal as a teacher is to have their students surpass them. The problem is that I'm only teaching the kids!! It's the young adults that are the problem for me. I'm going to have to get used to the fact that maybe the best I can do is survive the roll and work on my defense as opposed to "winning." But I won't go gently into that good night!!
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